How to Find Your Calling

Calling is often spoken about as if it arrives with clarity and certainty. In my experience, it came in stages. It unfolded slowly through work that did not quite fit, prayers that were answered but did not bring peace, and a gradual learning to surrender what I thought I wanted.

I began pursuing a Diploma in Christian Counselling in 2021. For a long time, I believed my gifting was limited to being an artist, largely because that was what others affirmed in me since young. I wondered whether talent itself was a calling, or simply something I happened to be good at.

I once read a quote by Oscar Wilde that stayed with me. He suggested that knowing exactly what you want to be can feel like a kind of punishment, while not knowing leaves room for freedom. At the time, that idea resonated. It felt comforting to believe that uncertainty could be a reward rather than a failure.

At the same time, I was surrounded by a modern narrative that fulfilment comes from knowing exactly who you are and what you are meant to do, what Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs would describe as self actualisation. Yet I began to notice that even when I moved closer to what I thought I wanted up the ladder of needs, peace did not always follow.

Looking back, I see that I was often holding two different value systems at once. One measured life by clarity, achievement, and direction. The other was quieter, and it asked a different question: Who am I becoming when nothing feels clear yet?

Over time, I realised that God was less concerned with giving me a clear path and more concerned with grounding me in Him. Scripture’s invitation to seek first the kingdom of God reframed everything for me. Fulfilment did not begin with figuring myself out, but with learning to trust where I already belonged and my identity in Christ.

Asking, Receiving, and Still Feeling Misaligned

When I first graduated, I was full of anticipation. I was eager to prove myself and quietly determined to prove others wrong. I prayed for any job, believing that hard work would eventually lead me to clarity.

God answered that prayer.

I began in sales and marketing. Instead of the digital or creative work I imagined, I found myself doing door to door B2B sales. I struggled, could not sell, and slowly burned out.

So I prayed again, this time asking for any office job, believing it would be easier and more sustainable.

God answered that prayer too.

I entered a structured corporate role and was struggling with 12 hour shifts and long commutes, then later moved into what I thought was an “easy” marketing position. Even when promotions came, something still felt off. Outwardly, I was progressing. Inwardly, I was drifting.

I then asked for a creative role, and God fulfilled that as well. I worked as a marketer alongside talented musicians and artists. Yet even then, fulfilment did not come.

Searching for meaning, I spent three years travelling across New Zealand and Australia. It was formative, but I felt unrooted. I was moving, but not growing anything lasting.

This became one of my earliest and most confronting lessons. God does answer prayers, sometimes very specifically. Yet I also noticed that when God gave me exactly what I asked for, pride often followed. I had slowly made my competence, creativity, and usefulness my identity, rather than being rooted in Christ.

Around that time, a passage in James felt uncomfortably precise to my situation:

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.” (James 4:13–16, NIV)

I recognised myself in James’ words about planning with confidence, assuming tomorrow was something I could manage. Scripture reminds us that we make plans, but we do not hold the outcome, and that true humility is learning to say, “If it is the Lord’s will” (James 4:13–16, NIV).

Over time, I learned surrender. Not because I wanted to let go, but because I needed to.

Growth Is a Process, Not a Shortcut

During the pandemic, the sense of misalignment grew stronger. I felt unsure of what I was moving toward. In my searching, I came across a part time online Diploma in Christian Counselling that fit my season of life, one marked by moving between countries and taking on different jobs. Even so, the decision brought an unexpected peace.

Looking back, I realised that growth does not always look like progress. Over the five years, there were seasons where I had to pause my studies, times when finances were tight, and moments where I stumbled. Yet each interruption became part of the testimony like the Parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15:11-32). Each return to God mattered. What was meant to discourage me became part of how I was being formed.

Scripture cautions against moving too quickly, especially when inner formation has not yet caught up with outward ambition:

“He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil” (1 Timothy 3:6, NIV).

Had I rushed into decisions straight after graduation, or moved forward without the guidance of pastors who had walked with me for years, I might have chosen the wrong course or missed the step into theological study altogether. What felt slow at the time was, in hindsight, necessary.

How to Find Your Calling: Start Where There Is a Need

Calling often becomes clearer when we stop searching for the perfect role and begin responding to the needs already in front of us. I used to imagine calling as something grand, perhaps overseas missions or a clearly defined ministry role. At the same time, I was drawn to worldly gain and financial security, and I could not imagine serving full time then.

It did not take long for me to realise how difficult it is to live faithfully in secular workplaces. There were temptations, gossip, competition, and subtle pressure to compromise. I saw others struggle with character, and I recognised my own shortcomings as well.

Yet those experiences mattered. Walking through them shaped my understanding and deepened my compassion for others. They also drew me into a deeper awe and reverence for Jesus, who “is not unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15, NIV).

Jesus reminds us, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few” (Matthew 9:37, NIV). I began to realise how often I overlooked the mission field right in front of me. My workplace became a place where faith was tested, refined, and quietly lived out.

I began to see each person I met as there by divine appointment, some sent to teach me, and others for me to learn alongside. Even when words were few and the gospel was not spoken directly, my character still mattered. In my imperfections and limitations, I learned that faithfulness could look like being present, being honest, and allowing Christlikeness even with my many flaws to be reflected in ordinary ways.

It was through walking my own trials, difficult seasons, and challenging relationships that my pride was slowly softened. As I learned how deeply I wanted to be heard, I also learned how to listen.

Over time, I noticed that I was consistently drawn to listening, supporting, and counselling others. In many ways, this became my practice of loving my neighbour as myself. It remains a work in progress, even after completing a Diploma in Christian Counselling.

Staying Present and Moving Forward

There were seasons where I lived in the past, replaying regrets, and others where I lived in the future, anxious about what might happen next. Scripture continually calls us back to the present.

Jesus teaches us not to worry about tomorrow, but to be faithful today (Matthew 6:34, NIV). We are also warned not to look back at what God has already taken us out from, as seen in the story of Lot’s wife (Genesis 19:26, NIV).

I learned that calling is often found in what our hands can do now, in what is immediate and close, rather than in distant possibilities.

A boat that is not moving cannot be steered. Small steps matter. Progress can feel messy or uncertain, yet hiding what we have out of fear is more dangerous than imperfect movement, as shown in the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:24–30, NIV).

Learning to Say “Here I Am”

I could not discern my calling alone. I needed wise counsel, teaching, and community. Just as I could not complete a counselling course without being taught, I could not discern calling in isolation.

The story of Samuel became especially meaningful to me. When God called him, Samuel responded, “Speak, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:10, NIV). Samuel did not yet know what God would ask of him. He simply made himself available.

That posture reshaped how I understand calling. Perhaps calling is less about knowing the assignment, and more about being willing to listen.

Scripture reminds us that we are one body with many parts (1 Corinthians 12:12–27, NIV), that leadership is rooted in servanthood (Mark 10:43, NIV), and that we are called to make disciples wherever we are (Matthew 28:19, NIV).

When Gifts Feel Heavy

There were times when having many interests and abilities felt overwhelming. I feared choosing wrongly or failing to steward what I had been given.

Scripture reminds us, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded” (Luke 12:48, NIV).

What steadied me was returning to this truth:

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13, NIV). “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

God provides resources, people, and timing in ways we cannot always predict. Instead of self blame, I am learning to place my burdens back into God’s hands:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7, NIV).

Will You Say Yes?

Calling did not arrive for me as clarity. It arrived as alignment.

Like Samuel, I am still learning to say, “Here I am.”

My journey into Christian counselling was not a detour. It was the unfolding of something God had been forming all along. Looking back, I can now see how the skills I gained through marketing made space for this blog, how my artistic gifts became ways to communicate God’s message through writing and drawing, and how they trained me to see differently.

Even my wrestling, both with people and with God, had its place. Like Jacob (Genesis 32:24–26), those struggles humbled me and slowly shaped my stubborn ears to listen. In that forming, I began to grow into the posture of a counsellor.

If you find yourself feeling lost, pause and take notice of how far you have come (Psalm 77:11; Deuteronomy 8:2). Speak with someone you trust (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10; Proverbs 11:14), and above all, return to Him and rest at His feet (Matthew 11:28; Luke 10:39). God is able to redeem the time we think we have lost (Joel 2:25). What feels like a detour is not wasted in His hands (Romans 8:28). He restores, redirects, and brings fruit even from what once felt broken (Isaiah 61:3).

I look forward to the day when we will meet again as brothers and sisters in Christ, standing in God’s grace, our names written in the Book of Life (Philippians 3:20; Revelation 20:15), with His purposes brought to completion in ways only He could accomplish (Philippians 1:6).

Author’s Note: If you are looking for a fully remote Diploma in Christian Counselling, or exploring other theological courses, I would recommend Malaysia Baptist Theological Seminary. Please note that this blog reflects my personal journey and experiences and does not represent the views or official position of the seminary.

References

Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan. Scripture quotations in this blog includes passages from Matthew 6:34; Matthew 9:37; Matthew 25:24–30 (Parable of the Talents); Luke 12:48; Luke 15:11–32 (Parable of the Lost Son); Genesis 19:26; James 4:13–16; 1 Timothy 3:6; Hebrews 4:15–16; 1 Peter 5:7; 1 Samuel 3:10; 1 Corinthians 12:12–27; Mark 10:43; and Matthew 28:19; Psalm 77:11; Deuteronomy 8:2; Ecclesiastes 4:9–10; Proverbs 11:14; Matthew 11:28; Luke 10:39; Joel 2:25; Romans 8:28; Isaiah 61:3; Philippians 3:20; Revelation 20:15; Philippians 1:6; Genesis 32:24–26.

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50(4), 370–396. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0054346

Wilde, O. (1891). The picture of Dorian Gray. Ward, Lock and Company.

Graduation ceremony at Malaysia Baptist Theological Seminary, November 8, 2025.